John Place online

Tonight, on my way home from work, I heard a snippet of Desparado, the old Eagles song, playing on the radio.

One particular line really resonated with me:

It seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table, but you only want the ones that you can’t get.

And I thought, man, that’s human nature for you. We take for granted the things we have and long for the things we’re missing. We overlook our blessings and fixate on our curses. We disregard and diminish the things we’ve accomplished and devote our mental energy to what we’ve yet to achieve. To use the Eagles analogy, we ignore the many fine things that have been laid upon our tables and fixate on the things we have not yet obtained.

When I was a teenager, all I ever thought about were girls, cars, and money because those were the things I was missing. I rarely stopped to be thankful for the roof over my head, the pantry that my father kept well-stocked with food, my long-time friends, or my loving family.

When I grew older, I married a fantastic wife, landed a lucrative job, and gained all the amenities of modern living. Instead of worrying about girls, cars and money, I suddenly found myself worrying about finding a job that was emotionally rewarding and living a life of my own design. I exchanged one set of worries for another, each as real and immediate as its predecessor.

We treat our lives like shopping lists, marking off needs as we satisfy them and penning new needs as we go. This is normal, in fact good, because it shows we’re growing. But the dark side of our natural inclinations is that new worries tend to replace old worries in an ever escalating cycle, a process that keeps happiness and satisfaction just out of reach.

So does this mean that happiness is something you can pursue, but never have?

In a word: No.

You can be happy today. And you can build toward a future that is personally meaningful. And furthermore, you can do both of these things at the same time.

Here are 5 tips that will help you balance your need for present-day happiness with your desire for future growth and achievement:

1. Learn to appreciate the process: Research has shown that the process of working toward a meaningful goal can often fill your life with more happiness than actually achieving that goal. Slow down. Cherish the process. Life is a journey, not a destination.

2. Think about the top while you’re still at the bottom: Several months ago, I wrote an article explaining Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. That article focused on job satisfaction, but Maslow’s teachings can be applied to other areas too. The most important lesson that I learned from Maslow is how important it is to anticipate the kinds of things we expect we’ll worry about tomorrow, since a little foresight can go a long way toward preventing a life filled with dead-ends and wrong turns.

3. Give yourself credit for the person you already are: Everyone has something valuable to offer. Yes, it’s important to recognize our weaknesses so we can learn and grow, but there’s no reason to obsess over them. You deserve credit for the wonderful person you already are, the great things you’ve already accomplished.

4. Be grateful for everything you have: Research has consistently shown that taking time to be grateful for your blessings will boost your happiness. Once per day, during your morning commute or while showering (or whenever), take a few moments to be thankful for the things you normally take for granted: your house, car, family, friends, spouse, or whatever else makes you happy. It sounds trite, I know, but as a happiness booster and alterer of perspective, it really does work.

5. Balance today and tomorrow: Tomorrow never comes. We live in a world eternally populated by today. In other words, by the time you’re able to experience the future, it will have morphed into the present. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t plan for the future (of course we should), simply that one of the main benefits of planning for the future is the way it makes us feel today. In other words, as you’re working for the future, don’t forget about today. If you do, you may one day look back and wonder where all your best years were squandered.

Each of these 5 tips can help you be happier today while working toward tomorrow.

As you struggle to achieve those things that currently elude you, take time to appreciate the many fine things that have been laid upon your table, to evaluate all that you’ve accomplished, and to think critically about where you’d like to go from here. Somewhere inbetween everything you’ve done and everything you’ll ever do there is a single moment in time called right now.

Be happier.

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