John Place online

If you’re looking for a quick way to remember the basic principles of happiness without going blind reading the latest research, this article is for you.

Let’s start with some helpful symbolism, shall we?

I like to think of happiness as a cake. That’s right, a cake. Chocolate, Angel Food, or Black Forest Surprise, the flavor makes no difference. What matters is that our cake is made of three
layers.

The 3-layer cake of happiness. Everybody wants a slice, right?

Below you will find some of the most popular topics on this site, stacked into 3 layers and covered with delicious icing. Enjoy.

Presentation: The Top Layer

Just as the top layer of a real cake is the part that everyone sees first, the uppermost layer of our happiness cake is the part of our personality that we present to others. It’s easy to take this layer for granted, but there is no question that the way you interact with the world can have a tremendous impact upon the way you feel. Here are 4 simple ways to make the top layer of your happiness cake as beautiful and happiness inspiring as possible:

1. Smile: If you smile, you’ll notice two things: smiles are contagious, and they actually improve your mood. People respond to smiles with friendliness and generosity, which could turn your whole day around. Smiles even work during telephone conversations, where they can be heard clear as day by whomever you’re speaking with.

2. Project Confidence: Boost the positive energy in your communications by providing additional non-verbal cues: upright posture, firm handshake, uncrossed arms, calm demeanor, and appropriate eye contact.

3. Dress the Part: Dressing near the peak of appropriateness for your surroundings has 2 important effects: people may lend you greater legitimacy and respect, and because of this, you may feel and act more empowered. Superficial or not, the effect is real.

4. Say Something Nice: Every day, life presents you with another opportunity to say something kind, generous, and genuine to somebody. Whether it’s complimenting a co-worker on his new tie or admiring someone’s accomplishment, boosting the positive energy in someone else’s life boosts it in your own too.

Attitudes: The Middle Layer

Just beneath the shiny exterior (or icing) that we present to others are the attitudes that affect the way we perceive the world. If the top layer is the part of us that we present to others, the middle layer is the part we present to ourselves. Here are some quick ways to optimize your middle layer:

5. Gratitude: Every morning, remind yourself of all the things you have to be thankful for: relationships, shelter, food, family, and whatever else makes you feel happy to be alive. Research has proven that an attitude of gratitude makes a difference.

6. Turn a Problem into a Puzzle: Sometimes a single word can make all the difference, and “problem” is one of those words. I’ve often wondered if children would take more readily to mathematics if we called them math puzzles instead of math problems: problem is such a negative, hopeless, impotent word. When a problem descends upon your life, think of it as a puzzle. Is there a way to solve this puzzle? If so, start putting the pieces together, calmly and with confidence.

7. Fill that Glass: Yes, the world is full of negative circumstances that require your attention, so don’t bury your head in the sand. But do remind yourself that there are just as many positive forces in the world as negative ones; your fixation on the negative is a matter of perspective and choice.

8. Make Negative Thoughts Count: To the extent possible, make sure the time you spend thinking unhappy thoughts is productive: planning solutions, developing serenity, or learning a valuable lesson.

9. Positive Introspection: Take time to inventory the characteristics that make you valuable: skills, attitudes, generosity, capacity to love, and so forth. Be aware of all the wonderful abilities you bring to the table. Write them down if you have to. Everyone has something valuable to contribute.

10. Positive Affirmation: I’ve never been much of an affirmation specialist, but my motto on affirmations is simple: as long as affirmations are representative of reality and are not keeping you from dealing with true problem areas, they’re good; do them if they work.

Circumstances: The Bottom Layer

In many ways, the circumstantial layer of your life is the hardest layer to change. Here, in this foundational layer, you have relationships, career, finances, family, and any other circumstance with the capacity to affect your happiness. Here are some ways to optimize your circumstances:

11. Find a Job You Love: If you want to be happy at the top of Maslow’s pyramid, find a job you love.

12. Nurture Friends and Family Ties: A study conducted at the University of Illinois by Diener and Seligman found that happy people tend to have strong friendships and family ties. This comes as no surprise, since we are social creatures, and it’s natural for us to derive joy from the company of others. Cultivate your social skills. Make time for friends and family, especially if those relationships tend to be positive and uplifting. Host a backyard barbecue, a dinner party, or a movie night. Make a spontaneous phone call “just to chat.” In short, find ways to connect; you’ll be happier for it.

13. Join a Supportive Spiritual Group: According to a 2002 article in Time Magazine, “religious faith seems to genuinely lift the spirit, though it’s tough to tell whether it’s the God part or the community aspect that does the heavy lifting.” In reality, it’s a combination of things: the shared worldview, the support structure, the common goals and aspirations, the feeling of family and belonging, and the sense of purpose, to name a few.

14. Earn a Livable Wage: If you’re living below the poverty line by choice so you can pursue meaningful work, more power to you; otherwise, making at least a middle-class wage is a proven way to boost your happiness. Investigate your options. Strategize accordingly.

15. Save: Keep 3 to 6 months salary in an emergency fund, in case you lose your job or your car breaks down; don’t forget to put money aside for retirement. If you know your basic needs are covered, you’ll be happier, and actually having that money when you need it will do wonders for your peace of mind.

16. Live Below Your Means: Financial gurus suggest that total debt, excluding first mortgage, should not exceed 20% of take-home pay. Feel free to indulge occasionally, but mind the consequences, since living above your means is a thief of happiness, harbinger of despair, and robber of potential.

Well, there you have it: a decomposition of the 3-layer cake of happiness. If you work on polishing your presentation, your attitudes, and your circumstances, you too can build a happier future. And besides, everyone loves cake, right?

Related Articles:

• Be Happier Today -- 5 Helpful Strategies
• Two Types of Happiness -- Increase Both!
• Yes, Self-Esteem Matters -- 5 Ways to Boost Yours Today
• The 9 Factors of Workplace Happiness
• 10 Causes and Cures of Unhappiness

If you liked this article, make sure you subscribe to my feed via RSS or email.

Learn More About John Place
Check Out the Main Page