Are You an American Zombie?
Millions of Americans spend their lives semi-conscious, unable to awaken from the darker version of the American Dream – an endless parade of office buildings, meetings, shopping malls, and television commercials.
Instead of pursuing purpose, we pursue material things: plasma televisions, new cars, and granite countertops. We work at jobs we hate so we can buy things we do not need. We exchange our souls for empty production and consumption.
When I think of popular American culture, I am reminded of two quotes from George Romero’s 1978 zombie movie, Dawn of the Dead:
- Dr. Millard Rousch, Scientist: “These creatures are nothing but pure, motorized instinct.”
- Flyboy: “They don’t know [why the zombies keep coming to the mall]… All they know is that it used to be a very important part of their lives.”
Romero’s classic horror movie was a social commentary on American consumerism. Personally, I find it impossible to watch a zombie movie without relating to the zombies. There we are, still wearing our Sunday suits, shambling toward the shopping mall, shuffling toward office buildings, a massive army of the undead, casting a million shadows at sundown as we head home from work. We can neither understand nor articulate the longing inside us, so we moan, and perhaps we find comfort in the fact that so many others moan with us. The tragic irony is that zombies do not know they are zombies.
Master of the Zombies
According to Haitian tradition, a bokor, or Voodoo sorcerer can resurrect a zombie. The sorcerer controls the zombie, since the zombie has no will of his own.
The media controls the modern American zombie. We come home to our nice warm houses and plop down on our comfortable sofas, where the single eye of the television flickers in the darkness. Our electronic sorceress orders us out into the world to bring back more of everything: cosmetic surgery, shiny appliances, expensive meals, weight-loss pills, hardwood floors. The messages sent are simple and menacing:
- You are not pretty enough.
- You are not good enough.
- You do not own enough.
We slowly rise from our comfortable sofas and leave the flickering darkness, stumbling into the streets to satiate our hunger. We shamble through the isles of Home Depot and Lowes because our 3-bedroom homes (quite large by global standards) just aren’t nice enough. In the harsh lighting of the Gap and Aeropostale, we search for clothing to make us feel better. We shuffle mindlessly through car lots searching for a vehicle to reflect our identity. Are we Ford tough? Are we Lexus smooth? But the zombie has no identity, for the zombie is a shell, identical to all the other shells in Sunday suits with wallets thrust forward, mouths hanging open.
When my grandfather was in his prime, consumption was an unpleasant word associated with disease. Every person throughout history has had to consume to survive, but to consume more than we need has traditionally been considered vulgar. We have forgotten what our grandparents knew: Beyond a certain point, possessions do not increase happiness. Of course, it is better that we should live in a land of plenty than in a hovel; abundance is good. Excess (not abundance) is the true evil, since excess eschews purpose.
Zombie University
At campuses everywhere, we can easily imagine two long lines of students — the inbound line is scattered and disorganized, the outbound line, single file. Kids in the inbound line wear loud colored shirts and messy haircuts, adults in the outbound line wear identical blue suits and matching black briefcases. You can see the beginning stages of the disease in the graduates – dark eyes, shaking hands. Their first few years on the job will destroy what little soul they have left.
College can be wonderful, enlightening. It can help us find satisfying jobs. But all too often, college is a means to an unfulfilling end. This is not because college is bad (it is not), but rather because we are focused on material wealth at the expense of deeper meaning. If you let it, college will process you to death (or undeath), and a million corporations will eat what’s left of you.
The Working Dead
We work in tiny, climate controlled cubicles, sacrificing human contact in exchange for electronic communication, real smiles for emoticons, humility for rudeness. Our only purpose in the belly of the beast is maximizing profit, increasing GDP. Forty, fifty, sixty, seventy hours a week, we work. Working in such antagonistic environments removes our soul, leaving us to fill the void with possessions. Because the zombie has no soul, he cannot comprehend any fulfillment beyond his own terrible hunger.
The Zombie might say, “I don’t need to buy a Lexus, but I want one. That’s why I work so hard.” But he has not fully considered the meaning of his words. He spends the vast majority of his waking life doing work that does not fulfill him so he can afford things previous generations would have considered extravagant.
The Protestant work ethic is no longer ideal (if it ever was), but it does prove people can exist without devoting themselves to material wealth. This is important because material wealth is no more the answer today than it was yesterday. The modern world presents us with a million choices; to maximize personal fulfillment, we must navigate those choices with intention, willfulness, and purpose.
Zombie Medications
Wade Davis, author of the Serpent and the Rainbow (1985), claims that a person can be turned into a zombie by administering two powders (detrototoxin and datura) into the bloodstream.
For the modern American zombie, we have Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft, and benzodiazepines. We are quick to recognize the benefits of such drugs (benefits which do exist), but seldom speak of the way they perpetuate meaninglessness. Why does it not occur to us that our ever-increasing anxiety and depression might actually be trying to tell us something? Many people have a legitimate need for medication, but many others (myself included at one point) seek medication when they should be balancing their lives.
What better way to embrace American consumer zombification than to detach from our feelings?
Destroying the Zombie Within
The modern American zombie’s greatest victim is himself; therefore, the zombie is responsible for his own awakening. Have you become a zombie? If you’re not sure, ask yourself these questions:
- Does your job fulfill you?
- Do you understand and approve of the reasons you live your life the way you do?
- Do you find yourself on a quest for more material things even after achieving a comfortable lifestyle?
If you answered no to the first two questions and yes to the last one, you may have joined the ranks of the undead. The only way to reclaim your humanity is to begin living your life with purpose. You can start by reading my six part series of articles on living a synergistic life. If you disagree with my methodology for finding purpose, pioneer your own. The clock is ticking, my friend. Every day we spend undead brings us one day closer to a real death from which our present form will never awaken.
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- The Top 4 Lessons I learned from a Horsefly Attack
- How I Overcame Anxiety (and How You can Too)
- Synergy, the Key to Greater Energy and Happiness
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Thursday, May 17th, 2007 at 11:41 pm under
I really enjoyed reading this. I like horror movies and I can so see my Dad going to work as a Zombie.
May 18th, 2007 at 6:29 amI enjoyed and agree with the viewpoint presented here(found this from the S. Pavlina site). There is a vicious cycle perpetuated from Birth that is difficult to break free from. However as suggested asking tough questions,searching within and even severing ties with family/friends may be necessary to awaken and walk the path toward self fufilment, liberation and anti materialistic motivations.
May 18th, 2007 at 3:39 pmI welcome you both, Jessica and Kraven, to my humble Web Site.
May 18th, 2007 at 4:13 pmI think I am addicated to shopping. I struggle with it all the time. I buy things to make me feel good, but you’re right, it doesn’t make me feel good. I oneder what I should do.
May 18th, 2007 at 4:42 pmSueMandy, you are already on the right path because you recognize that happiness does not come from material things. You might find these URLs helpful:
May 19th, 2007 at 6:53 pmControl Your Spending
The #1 Mistake Consumers Make with Credit Cards
[…] Are You an American Zombie? […]
May 30th, 2007 at 10:19 amI enjoyed the read, and can really relate to what you’re saying. I’m 18 and heading into college, and considering Computer Science mostly for the money and the fact that i’m good at it, since music doesn’t really seem like something i could get a reasonable career in even though i love it. The idea of becoming a quote-unquote “zombie” has always terrified me, especially considering this career, but what else am i suppose to do to make a reasonable living? I just don’t know if it will fulfill me, and i’m more than a little confused about where i should go from here at this stage in my life.
June 18th, 2007 at 9:21 pmIf I could avoid any mistakes at a defining point in my life (going into college), i would really like to do so now. Any advice would be appreciated.
Hi Chris,
First of all, welcome to my blog. Chris, the position you’re in is a challenging one, and I’ve been there. We often feel like we have to trade our dreams for a prescribed career path, but Chris, I want to tell you emphatically that you have better options.
I believe there is meaningful, fulfilling work available for anyone willing to work for it.
Helping people tap into their hidden potential and locate their dream job is really my calling in life — so I’m helping to fulfill my own dream by telling you to chase yours.
Chris, college is a wonderful place, and someone your age is well-advised to attend it so you can explore new ideas, learn new concepts, and grow academically. So by all means, go to college if you’re motivated to do so. But my advice is to take classes that can advance the career you truly want.
Chris, I encourage to you start by reading this article: The #1 Reason Your Job Sucks (and How to Fix it) — You may not be unhappy with your job at the moment, but there is valuable information in that article for someone in your position.
My bottom-line advice? Find a way to make money following your dreams (knowing that these dreams may change over time), or you’ll never be completely fulfilled in your career. I may be one of the few people who tells you to follow your dreams because so many people have sold themselves short that it has become a common misconception that work is unpleasant by nature. The unspoken agreement of the masses is that growing up involves pain, resignation, compliance, and complacency.
I have recently written a short eBook described here designed for people in your position. My focus-group is full and already in progress, but I hope to have a completed version available within the next few weeks.
June 18th, 2007 at 9:56 pm–John
Thank you very much for this incredibly true article. Rest assured that you can substitute “american” for “european”, since I look at zombies every time I leave the door.
Regards,
June 23rd, 2007 at 6:11 amJörn
Thanks Jorn — I appreciate the European perspective. I expect “1st World Zombie” would have been a more accurate and inclusive title, but somehow not quite as catchy.
June 23rd, 2007 at 10:35 amI agree with this Zombie assessment. I was once. Then I had a motocycle accident. Since then I have lost everything material - wife, house, car, dog and even my zombifying corporate job. I can’t work at the moment. I’m 34 and living with my parents where I spend my days in bed healing. I am currently playing the game of applying for disability as I have zero income and have gone through my entire life savings between the divorce and medical bills (from losing health insurance that came along with the zombifying corporate job). While part of me hopes to work again part of me thinks this may be a blessing. Provided I can live off the disability benefit not having to sludge to work everyday is very appealing. I am in constant pain and will be for the rest of my life (broken pelvis, sacrum, coccyx, lower 3 vertebrae, left should and nerve damage - which is the most painful). But given the pain most of the time I’d much rather be at work as I did enjoy what I was doing for a living. Will I go back? Only time will tell. I may end up finding I would enjoy doing something entirely different. This time out of play is certainly giving me perspective. In the end I think it comes down to how you approach your life each day and your ability to keep things fresh and make changes when they become necessary in order to keep your sanity.
June 27th, 2007 at 5:01 amThanks for your heartfelt comment, David. I am sorry to hear about your motorcycle accident.
I am also sorry to hear you can no longer perform your job. And most of all, I’m sorry about all the pain you’re in and struggle you’re going through.
One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that any routine altering set-back has the potential to open us up to new ideas, possibilities, and opportunities.
Even when I’ve been “out of commission,” I’ve looked for ways to add meaning to my life, usually by finding a way to help other people.
The position you are in sounds very difficult, and I wish you the best.
Take care, David.
June 27th, 2007 at 11:01 am[…] I just found a blog post “Are You an American Zombie?” in johnplaceonline.com […]
July 3rd, 2007 at 4:48 amI’m with you John. When I became a parent, we made what seemed a difficult decision at the time: to withhold television from our children (i.e. no cable whatsoever), much as to deny them refined sugar whenever possible. The ban isn’t total, and can’t be because we don’t dictate to her friends’ families, but the results have been entirely positive. Our kids read, draw, even cross-stitch for entertainment; they’re thin, play outside a lot, and had all sort of imaginary friends and adventures when they were younger. We give them internet privileges and allow them DVD’s. But because there isn’t the endless “what’s on TV this moment?” syndrome, we’ve escaped much of the problem. Your message is dead-on accurate.
July 8th, 2007 at 3:22 pmThanks for sharing your experiences, Ollabelle.
It’s good to know there are people out there working to stop the cycle.
July 8th, 2007 at 3:26 pmYour zombie post reminds me of the son of the brother of a friend whose family lives in the U.S. His parents don’t know what to do with him. They can’t understand how they raised a zombie? He has developed into a depressed, unmotivated young man who does very little other than loaf about at home, watch tv and sleep. He opted against college and chose to work at a pizza place. His uncle says this 20 something year old apparently ‘wittles his life away’ with no goals or motivation. I honestly hope the guy finds some source of meaning to uplift his spirit. His family just gets angry.
July 13th, 2007 at 6:29 amLiara, that’s a good reminder that zombification comes in many forms, cultures, and socio-economic brackets.
Unlike the Zombies in this article, that poor young man of which you speak has not sold his soul for material things — he’s sold his soul for free.
I pass no judgment on his desire to live a low-income lifestyle. Rather, the problem is not his income — it’s his depression, the fact that he himself is unhappy with the life he has chosen.
One might consider the possibility that his condition is medical.
But even then, he may be able to destroy the zombie within by searching his inner self for the signs of purpose and meaning that I believe we all contain.
July 13th, 2007 at 4:45 pmI was pleased to read your article, I have been dancing around many of the same concepts. It upsets me that the people around me are continually drawn to new and shiny things… We have at all times and at all places access to a glowing screen with audio/visual media. I hope that people realize this is not a viable path to happiness, because the alternative is continual distraction and never facing our own or society’s real problems.
July 19th, 2007 at 12:08 pmThanks for your thoughts, Brian. While I do recognize the therapuetic and artistic uses of visual media (and enjoy partaking in them myself), there is one thing about television in general that’s always bothered me: when we watch TV, we are assimilating the memories and experiences of others instead of developing our own unique memories and experiences. Welcome to the hive mentality, as they say.
A little of the “Borg” mentality is fine (at least it gives us something to talk about), but so many of us overdo it, sacrificing our own experiences in exchange for group-think and mindless consumerism.
Thanks again for your thoughts, Brian.
July 19th, 2007 at 12:16 pm[…] Are You an American Zombie? […]
July 23rd, 2007 at 11:45 am[…] Are You an American Zombie? […]
July 23rd, 2007 at 11:45 amI think this post may actually have changed my life (if I can now manage to act on it).
Thanks!
August 3rd, 2007 at 7:09 amI’m pretty certain this blogs author could be classified an ‘enemy combatant’ for writing this blog.
August 11th, 2007 at 5:36 pmThe american zombie-population are the blood of the modern economy, they make money -> spend money -> rinse & repeat. Think what would happen if a majority heeded this blog and started thinking for themselves, and realized life is about a lot more than consuming cheap goods from China. It would wreak havoc on Wall Street.
I’m pretty sure causing this economical havoc would be considered terrorism in todays hysteric political climate.
Welcome to my blog, Christian.
I certainly hope no one considers me a terrorist for suggesting there’s more to life than granite countertops, flat-panel televisions, and giant SUVS.
Most studies suggest that beyond a certain subsistence level, additional money and things do not provide additional happiness; it’s not like this is anything new.
I just wish more people considered it.
August 11th, 2007 at 5:43 pmI hear you brother. A person very close to me used to be chronically depressed - she’d max out all her credit cards (of which she had been given much too many) in the malls. This would always land her in a bad place - always strapped for cash, always stressed and always with more stuff laying around when there was room for.
I tried to get her to go to a shrink to get help, but she never did - always too busy buying more stuff or borrowing more money from relatives and friends. In short, she was an american zombie if I ever saw one.
So I started working on her myself. We had long talks about what matters in life, how none of the 200 designer purses or 300 pairs of shoes in her closet actually had made her any happier. How she hadn’t been able to travel anywhere lately because of all her money going to the malls and stores, and as interest to the creditors.
It took a few years, but she’s now awake. She started paying the cards off, and each time one was paid in full I symbolically shredded it for her. She still goes shopping now and then, but in moderation. And no more credit cards.
One day I helped her load the car up with purses, and shoeboxes and other miscellaneous stuff, and we went on a take-back tour. The stores were not happy, but we regained thousands of dollars that day.
She’s not depressed any longer, not stressed, and she can now afford to do the fun things she used to do before she fell into her shopoholism, like traveling and pursuing her other hobbies.
I have to admit that I’m pretty proud of this conversion.
Sorry about the long rant here, just felt like sharing my own exploits in the struggle to wake people up from their zombie state of being! :)
August 11th, 2007 at 6:54 pmChristian, I really enjoyed reading your last comment. It always lights up my day when someone wakes up from the dark consumer dream that has gripped so many of us. I’m all for buying nice things and enjoying our possessions, but a person can so easily lose himself in the quest for material things… so easily lose sight of what’s important. There’s a whole big world of meaning and purpose out there, waiting to be discovered.
Keep up the good fight, my friend.
August 12th, 2007 at 2:56 am[…] Are You an American Zombie? […]
August 17th, 2007 at 12:53 pmNice Fight Club quote,”We work at jobs we hate so we can buy things we do not need.”
August 17th, 2007 at 5:18 pmI didn’t even realize that was a FC quote, Ross, but it stands to reason. Fight Club is a great movie; it apparently seeped into my subconcious mind.
August 17th, 2007 at 6:59 pmI am a ZomBee! Not to be confused with a zombie aformention in your article. We ZomBeez are a Northern California hippie, Rock&Roll band who play for our “Dead” brothers and sisters.
August 24th, 2007 at 1:17 pm“We’re the ZomBeez, yeah, and we’re gonna ZomBee into your life, gonna ZomBee into your life!”
You too can become an honorary ZomBee by euthanizing your cathode ray tube device while playing a musical instrument that may also include your vocal chords. Be a ZomBee. Just remember that there is even an om in a conventional zombee.
I agree with the article. We don’t realize it but we do walk around like zombies everyday. I don’t think my life has gotten quite that bad, but maybe a little.
August 28th, 2007 at 4:26 pmi agree with this article for the most part, i mean people to just go to work and work themselves to the bone just to make a good living. however, education may play a factor, it is hard to accomplish your dream job without having a decient education these days. also, technology now a days increases and changes at such a quick rate that by the time you do buy one electronic, by the time you actually learn how to use the product there is a new one out. think about it, if you still have a VCR then you pretty much are out of luck if you wanna watch a more recent movie. so i don’t think it is really a want want want, issue, but sometimes its a need need need.\
August 28th, 2007 at 5:48 pmbut the aritcle does bring about some really good points, and luckly i am in the inward college line with my loud colors and funky hair, and i will try to at least come out in a bright busniss suit. it will take alot for society to change, but to make a little change may inspire others!
I like the reading alright, and I can relate to that. Its hard not to sotimes weve got alot of thigngs going on, and we like to put the work behind us and try to make everything perfect and the way we want it but that isnt how life is not every thing will go your way. SO I will just let God lead me in the right direction
August 28th, 2007 at 8:24 pmI read the article and alot of it makes good sense to me. We are just moving around letting society put us where they want us and not really considering where we want to be. Realizing this as it says is the first task in order to get rid of the zombie we are so I am going to work on getting rid of the zombie in me and start working towards what I want. Good question “Are you an american zombie?”
August 28th, 2007 at 9:51 pmWhat an interesting article! Not at all what I was going to guess by the title. Ok, yes. I’m an american zombie. Never have I thought of my lvings habits like this before, but when you get right down to it, I do buy alot of things that I don’t need. I have worked for money that I never really needed anyway. I have seen that this amercian zombie syndrome is pretty common. I have seen my family do these things, as well as my friends and thier familes. People do work for many things that they do not need, or have much use for. This has given me some insight. I didn’t even realize I was doing this!
August 28th, 2007 at 9:53 pmKathy, Kristy, Chad, Stephen & RC: Thank you all for the thoughtful, intelligent responses. You have contributed to the dialog here, and I appreciate it.
August 29th, 2007 at 1:21 amI enjoyed reading this article, i do though find myself to be an american zombie. Worrying too much what people think, buying things for the simple reason that everyone else has them. Working over at my job because i’m so starved for having more money. After reading this i feel ashamed and it has really made me think, peoples opinions aren’t what i need to worry about, it’s my own personal opinion that matters.
August 29th, 2007 at 10:26 amThanks for the comment, Carlie.
According to Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D., the author of “Happier” and the instructor of a popular positive psychology course at Harvard, happiness — not money — is the ultimate currency. The question of happiness is the most fundamental of questions, since it is the driving motivation behind so many of our life-consuming activities and obsessions.
I just thought I’d share that.
September 1st, 2007 at 2:27 ami guess that i would have to say that i once was a bit of an american zombie, i sat on the couch and did nothing. so i decided to make a change for the good i started attending college in order to get that “dream job” and be happier with myself.
September 4th, 2007 at 4:45 pmThanks for sharing, ina04.
September 4th, 2007 at 6:40 pmcheck out Karen Armstrong’s Buddha for an introduction to the insight of Buddhism. All about the futility of trying to finding happiness through fulfilling our desires. i find buddhism very relevant to the anxieties of the modern consumer society.
September 5th, 2007 at 6:53 pmTZT: thanks for sharing your thoughts.
September 6th, 2007 at 11:50 amTo the poster whose comment I just deleted: With one hand, I can count the number of posts I’ve had to delete on this blog; I welcome opinions of all varieties.
However, I do treat conversations here very much like conversations in my own home. Rude and obnoxious behavior do not contribute to the dialog, and such posts will be deleted without notice.
If you’d like to try expressing your opinion a little more thoughtfully, I’m sure the members here would be happy to hear it.
September 6th, 2007 at 11:54 amJohn, Dang, you beat me to it before I could ‘comment’ on that poster’s writing.
September 6th, 2007 at 12:15 pmGreat minds think alike, Ollabelle. :)
I truly do welcome opinions of all shapes and sizes, but I feel obligated to keep the comments-section on this site civil and considerate because it helps ensure productive exchange. Productive communication is a topic covered extensively on this site, and I like to keep the environment here supportive of that goal. Moderation of comments isn’t something that I take lightly — I don’t like to do it unless I have to. And thankfully, I usually don’t. On the impersonal Internet, moderation is an unfortunate necessity for any forum seeking meaningful dialog.
September 6th, 2007 at 12:24 pm[…] Before you make a purchase that seriously impacts your bottom line, stop and ask yourself: Is this improving my life? Is this worth it? It’s a shame how so many of us sell our potential for the empty promise of useless things. […]
September 12th, 2007 at 7:39 amYou are right on. 99.9 % of people in America are zombified.
find out how to un zombify yourself at:
the foundation of human understanding
FHU.com
god bless to everyone
October 25th, 2007 at 2:57 am[…] post, Are you an American zombie?, saddened me almost to the point of tears. I’m not sure why exactly, because I don’t […]
November 26th, 2007 at 2:19 am[…] and it could hurt a great deal, but you will at least know you are alive instead of being a zombie or on autopilot. Personally, I have found that it is in these moments of pain that we begin to open […]
January 23rd, 2008 at 8:03 am[…] how do you differentiate the good pills from the mediocre ones? Here, we will help you with our own recommendations of the top diet drugs available in the […]
February 8th, 2008 at 10:04 pmJohn, I quoted you at http://nmwoodworks.com/life.
* You are not pretty enough.
* You are not good enough.
* You do not own enough.
in my revolving quotes sidebar widget. Hope you don’t mind, I included a link back to this page.
June 15th, 2008 at 8:55 pmI am an offspring of our Heavenly father. Any
June 27th, 2008 at 7:53 pmjudgement imposed on me has no effect but to
confuse the judge and act as a false image of me.
I have nothing to do with such a practice.
——Doug Rosbury
[…] This is especially true if your anxiety is being caused by a particular person or situation. Your friend or family member may have had a similar experience or knowledge of the situation and can advice you […]
August 1st, 2008 at 1:42 amGreetings John.
I’ve stumbled over your page by typing in “unhappiness” at google.de - your site, for reasons unknown is listed as a malicious site, but I accessed it by myself.
Your blogs are pretty interesting.
If you want to, you can read on, and try to help me. About 20+ people have tried thusfar and noone ever succeeded.
I am close to 20, living in Germany, doing the last year of school.
I’ve had a pretty fucked up past, explaining it all would go beyond the scope of this post.
Let’s just say it was fucked up, and things like divorces and mobbing happened.
Now, up to around 9th grade, I was just a “normal” lone wolf. Then we moved away, and the stress should have lessened, but the opposite happened.
Even though I wasn’t mobbed anymore, I developed psychosomatic stomach ache which kept me away from school for many times, which caused my grades to drop from 2s to 4s in most subjects…
Then the problem with a girlfriend arose, since I started developing interest in girls.
Of course I never found one, being the introverted and shy person I am.
All this led me to serious depression and/or dysthymia. I just can’t be happy or satisfied.
Ever. There are days when I feel more normal, and there are days where I feel completely fucked up and tell myself “why am I still going through this, I must end this, or it will never end by itself”.
But I can’t remember a single happy day in my life.
I have seen psychiatrists, been to a clinic, and different people tried to help me, but never with success.
I am void. Lonely, empty sadness.
A person of reason and almost only brain-driven. Atheist of course. I am often imprisoned in what you call analysis paralysis.
Some weeks ago I was even so desperate that I went ahead and ordered AD. But I didn’t take them.
My brain rejects any thought of foreign substances in my body, that is also why I’m frightened of pointy objects like injection needles. But anyways, the sideeffects are too serious for me, there’s just no way I’ll ever be taking them.
Coming back to this blog entry: Having nothing to believe in and being filled only with emptiness, I’ve strifed to find any meaning to my life.
After wracking my brain for quite some time I couldn’t come up with anything else than “become rich and lead a comfortable life till the end”.
But you are right.
No happiness comes from that.
For me, it comes from nothing, I am not able to feel joy, or will of living on.
My life is boredom every single day and if it wasn’t for my mother and my damn instinct of self preservation I’d not be typing this.
All I’ve ever gotten were general tips. “Find new hobbies” “Find something you’re good in” “Go out and meet new people” “The happiness must come from yourself”…..nonsense!
I’ve tried hobbies, none were ever interesting enough to keep me. I’m also a damn jack-of-all-trades, nothing that society today wants, they want people who are good in one region and want them to work in that region. I can’t do anything GOOD, only lots of mediocre or sub-par stuff.
I feel worthless. I detest man in general.
And smalltalk. I so so detest it, this meaningless blabber. I’d rather keep my mouth shut a thousand years than smalltalk. Needless to say I don’t have any real friends let alone a girlfriend. Or a sense of self-esteem.
It’s kind of ambivalent, on the one hand I hate myself, on the other hand I feel superior to a good 80% of humans, because they don’t think. They simply won’t use their brains a lot. But they are also living a less complicated life than me, and probably a happy one.
Maybe you can come up with some UNIQUE tips for me?
I can’t pull happiness out of my ass out of nothing. It’s just not possible, and such general bullshit like “Every pot has its lid”(popular german saying to singles..) just drives me mad and doesn’t help me at all.
Yes it’s a very long post and kind of a soul-striptease, but maybe, just once in my life, a person is able to help me.
Greetings from Germany.
October 7th, 2008 at 1:14 pmM
Hi M,
Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I’ve been taking some time away from the blog, so I didn’t see your post until today.
This isn’t going to be easy, and I can’t promise you that I can offer you any unique insight that will help you. But I will try.
The road to happiness is often a long one.
And keep in mind, I am not qualified to diagnose you (I’m just a blogger with some life experience, after all), and even if I was, I couldn’t do it without meeting you. So take this for what it’s worth.
But here’s my initial reaction:
I too hate it when people say things like, “happiness has to come from within you,” and “find a hobby.” It’s not that this is particularly bad advice, it’s just that it’s a gross oversimplification. In reality, happiness comes from two primary areas: from awareness of and influence over your internal moods and perspectives, and a similar awareness and influence relative to your external reality.
In other words, happiness comes both from inside *and* from outside.
So let’s talk about an issue that could be effecting both:
If you have a mental illness (like clinical depression, or one of the many closely related anxiety disorders), then you have to understand that you can’t really trust yourself to figure out a way through this alone.
Your illness could be steering you away from the things that could help you, and toward the things that will keep you imprisoned. In other words, your “life radar” could be totally screwed up. Is it? Based on your post, it sounds like it is.
So how do you deal with a broken life radar? For starters, you might want to try finding a therapist who you trust. I know, I know: you’ve tried it, right? But did you really *try* it, or did you dismiss it without following through? Only you can answer that question (meaning I’m not making any assumptions), but I’m asking because some of the comments you made lead me to believe that perhaps a few therapuetic concepts have been dismissed out of hand (like medication, for example).
I’m not saying that you need to take meds (remember, I don’t know you and can’t diagnose you), but I can safely say that dismissing the idea that meds are for you simply because you can’t stand having any foriegn substance in your body is folly. This is a hang up that people often have because we live in a world that has encouraged in us a general prejudice against mental illness, and medication is often seen as a sign of weakness. Why is it okay to take anti-biotics if we have a bacterial infection, or aspirin if we have an ache, but it’s not okay to take Paxil or Zoloft or Effexor or Wellbutrin if we’re suffering from severere mood disorders?
Remember, if your life radar truly is messed up, you can’t trust it to lead you out of the woods, can you?
That’s why I suggested a therapist and an open mind.
Another point: people need relationships.
Human beings are not designed to be solitary creatures. We have biological (and therefore cognitive) impulses to mate, love, and interact, to share.
You don’t have to surround yourself with every Tom, Dick, Harry, and Sally who comes along (I’ve always been a lone wolf myself, so believe me, I get it), but you do need to find one or two meaningful relationships.
Please do find a way to develop at least one meaningful relationship that you can lean on.
Remember, a person’s value in life does not come from his intelligence. There are plenty of super-smart couch potatoes contributing nothing of value to the world (or even to themselves), and plenty of simple-minded people who really are making the world a better place for themselves and others. So if your reason for not being able to relate to others truly is that you feel superior to them, you have to let that go.
As far as finding a girlfriend goes, remember that life is a game of numbers. If you keep trying, eventually you will find what you are looking for. And when rejection comes (and it will), deal with it and move on.
Speaking from personal experience, my wife is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me, and if I hadn’t had the courage to speak to her, my life would still be miserable and lonely.
So in the end, what I’m suggesting is the long, hard process of dealing with your happiness issue on two fronts: the inside, and the outside. From the inside, deal with your negativity, pessimism, general disdain for others, and any other issue that could be darkening your mood. From the outside, much of life boils down to the way you spend your waking hours: the people you’re with, the things you’re doing, and the general sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that those things provide to you.
It’s a process, no doubt about it. And there are no easy answers. But I do believe that you can do it, if you want to.
Best wishes. Let me know how you’re doing.
–John
October 18th, 2008 at 7:20 pm[…] lifestyle. If you want to know my opinion about the hopelessness of modern consumption, read my American Zombie article. If you want to know what the Bible says about it, read these verses: Matthew 6:19 — Do […]
March 13th, 2009 at 8:10 amReally? People actually enjoy reading this?
The real issue is not individual over consumption as much as living in a society that indoctinates citizens into this way of life.
“The zombie is responsible for his own awakening.” Maybe so. Still, once we realize we are in the world, we already are. Choices are both limiting and limited.
The simple test is just that. In fact, I would say over simplified. What if one answered the three questions as follows:
Sometimes
Yes
No
Is this not just a more long winded way of saying what Socrates said about the unexamined life, i.e. “The unexamined life is not worth living?”
June 17th, 2009 at 1:09 pm[…] recently read an excellent article called ‘Are You an American Zombie?‘. I found it fascinating because it basically describes a huge swathe of the middle classes. […]
July 10th, 2009 at 6:55 pmThis is for Michael. I have a suggestion for you. Go out and spend one day just helping people. I’m not saying vlounteer for anything. Just go out and help an old lady put groceries in her car or help an old man cross the street. Just do it for one day and see if you don’t feel happier. Sounds simple? Yes. but it works (at least for me). It’s all about selflessness. If it doesn’t work at least you can say you helped someone that day.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:49 amI love the way you have put this. I cant say it any diffrent. Recently i have been looking at life in a simular way, no longer regreting past mistakes, no longer looking at life in a material sence. I have since then been more happy, nomore depression. I found a great girl, got a awsome job doing MMA, something i always wanted to do. A key thing however i have been doing is like the movie “Yes Man” i have not been saying no to anything, and i know it sound odd but it works. I was not inspired however by this movie i was inspired by looking at life in pretty much the same way you do. I thank you for publishing this it was truelly inspirational.
August 6th, 2009 at 11:41 pm1986 called, they want their essay back.
Seriously, that’s a lot of words to say something that has been said half a million times over the passed couple decades. Did it really need to be voiced yet again?
August 9th, 2009 at 7:33 pm@sabes
why read the article then and take time to leave a comment? nothing better to do with your life?
thanks for the post John. i agree with most of your points.
September 1st, 2009 at 9:16 pm